Tag Archives: manuscripts

Where I’m at

Author versus self-confidence
Author versus self-confidence

Thunder Road readers are overdue an explanation. For the purposes of this exercise I’m seeing you guys as the parent while I play the recalcitrant teen:

You: “Where have you been?”
Me: “Out.”
You: “What have you been doing?”
Me: “Nothing.” (Checking phone.) “Stuff.”
You: “Don’t look at your phone while I’m speaking to you! I’ve been worried sick about you. You drop off the radar, you don’t call to say where you are or when you’ll be back. And when I ask what you’ve been up to, I get, ‘Nothing’… It’s not good enough!”
Me: (Shuffling feet.) “Got it.”
You: “I’m going to need to see some changes. If you want to be treated as a responsible adult, you need to show me you can behave like one.”
Me: “Yep.”
Pause
Me: “What’s for dinner?”

Apologies for casting blog readers as parents. You don’t need that sort of pressure. The real heat is on yours truly because it’s almost a year since I posted that I’d finished a manuscript. What the heck has happened since then?

Before I answer that, I probably need to fill in some gaps. Provide some context.

The years that I spent writing Game as Ned and Five Parts Dead I worked part time for a website run by an author-tolerant employer. When I had a publisher deadline, I worked less paid hours than usual or stacked my hours differently so I could clear my head for writing/rewriting/editing/rewriting.

When the website got taken over by a big company I had to change my approach and behave, like, all grown-up and professional to keep my job. When the big company was consumed by a monster company, my workload and responsibilities grew proportionately more intense.

About this time, I discovered I was unwell. I had one operation and learned I needed another, plus some clever treatment, to get things back to where my family and I could sleep easier. After much deliberation, I quit my job to concentrate on rest and recovery.

Best laid plans
The vision was to get healthy while working part-time on several freelance gigs and writing my next novel. I did a heap of writing, including belting out a concept and three chapters of an ill-fated side project. But I was naive about a) how much I’d be affected by the surgery and treatment and, b) how ambitious a project this story is. As I posted here, the manuscript is the longest thing I’ve ever written. It may be Book 1 of several or a third of a long book. I don’t know. Smarter brains than mine may make that decision.

Anyway, I was getting close to finishing a draft when I got a job offer out of the blue. At that stage I hadn’t had a regular income for 1.5 years. It didn’t feel like I could say no to any form of legal employment.

Before I fronted up for day one back in Corporate Land I took the terrifying* step of sending my story to three people. (*Sending a whittled chunk of your imagination out from the shade and safety of your workshop into the sunlight is daunting. Really sleep-wrecking scary. Because if it’s crap, you’re about to find out.)

Person 1 read the manuscript and felt it needed more work. Person 1 was correct. And then I panicked. I was freaking out that a) my story was rubbish, b) I’d lost any ability to write and c)I’d wasted all that time. I asked persons 2 and 3 to stop reading and clutched my manuscript back to my chest.

Detour
Then I put a collared shirt back on and fronted up to an office.

It’s been almost a year back in a job-land. Authoring has had to take a back seat to parenting, partnering, staying healthy and earning a grown-up wage.

All that time, the story has been growing inside me. The characters have been maturing, making decisions and altering their futures. The universe has been evolving. I’ve been increasingly antsy and eager to dive back in.

Last week I took unplanned leave and ploughed through another draft. Then sent it to Person 3 again, plus Person 4. Still scary. I’m clueless as to whether it’s any good or how much panel-beating is required.

But I’m closer than I was a week ago.

Post-Halloween jitters

Milestone achieved. I set myself a deadline to complete a hard copy read through of my latest manuscript by the haunting hour of  Halloween. (OK, I missed by a day or so but got there close enough that Pumpkinstein was still mournfully inhabiting our living room.)

Pumpkinstein has the manuscript jitters
Pumpkinstein has the manuscript jitters

So here’s the skinny. I’ve written what I think is part one of a trilogy. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written. I’ve already made inroads into part two.

But I’ve no idea if it’s any good.

I enjoyed writing it. And, maybe, cosmically, that’s all that matters.

I’ve constructed a universe that I’m still exploring and that’s great fun, too.

But the nervous wait has begun.  Self-doubt is part of any creative job but it is particularly rampant while you’re waiting for feedback on your work.

Will anyone else like it or think it has merit? I take nothing for granted.

But the pumpkin soup was fine.

On facing down dragons

 

Defeating dragons

Thank you to Christina at Quillpower for triggering my dragon musings today. I saved this image so long ago that I can’t remember who or what the source was, sorry. But I do love the quote from the very Rumpole-esque wordsmith, G.K. Chesterton.

I’ve faced a few dragons in my time, many of my own making. I’d also argue that writing a novel is like wrestling a dragon. It’s tough to breach the hide and reach the heart. You might think you have the jaws and claws under control, only to be whipped by the tail. There’s a high risk of being publicly incinerated. But the elation experienced if you do succeed is intense and well worth striving for.

I’m deep into the biggest manuscript I’ve ever attempted. It may be that I’m close to completing Book 1 of a trilogy. That means an absolute monster of a dragon.

I hope I’m equal to the task.

UPDATE: Thank you to the delightful and generous Sandy Fussell for helping me trace the artist responsible for the image above (sans text). More of Kay Nielsen’s magnificent fairytale illustrations can be found here. Sandy’s blog is here.

On wolves and March hares

The March hare and friends. Image from 1865 by John Tenniel, now in the public domain.
The March hare and friends. Image from 1865 by John Tenniel, now in the public domain.

This time last year I was recovering from surgery and nervously adjusting to life without permanent employment. The goals for the year were to regain full health (check), help develop my wife’s business (ongoing) and finish at least one other writing project.

The writing didn’t go entirely as planned. I did finish 2013 with two unpublished picture book manuscripts, a detailed plot for a junior fiction novel, a proposal for a multimedia documentary series and substantial inroads into the YA/crossover project I’ve been working on for a while. Hopefully at least one of these will find its way to publication in the near future.

Over the course of the year I also found myself teaching pre-schoolers how to read (very fertile minds!) and delivering one-on-one tutoring to a Year 12 English student. Now, while I regularly lead creative writing workshops in schools, I haven’t formally tutored anyone since my university days. I felt rusty and out of touch. Starting with a student in April and boosting her confidence by October seemed ridiculously ambitious.

Without breaching confidences, I can say this much. It was tough going. Assessments would come in and rarely meet my aspirations. Improvements seemed incremental at best. Practice exams in late September did not go well. We regrouped. Changed tactics. I encouraged, encouraged, encouraged.

Come VCE results day, I was almost as anxious as when I was 18. Much to my delight my student performed better than she had all year. She exceeded her stated goal. Most importantly, she qualified for a tertiary course she is happy about. Cue massive sigh of relief.

On to 2014. Being an author is a great gig but the income is, shall we say, piecemeal. The wolves are back at the door. Suddenly my former boss, who put up with my irregular hours and random authorly escapades, seems like a rare beast indeed.

Without actively seeking students I find myself with a couple already and the possibility of several more. I’m not a qualified teacher but after 20+ years of writing and storytelling I’m confident I can help most kids express their thoughts more clearly – enhancing their ability to perform in essays and exams. However I absolutely salute teachers who do this daily, searching for their students’ unique strengths and strategising how to coax the best out of each individual. If one child is a challenge, an entire classroom is a mountain.

Which brings me to the hare. March sees me preparing for the aforementioned students, booked for an intense writer’s residency, researching for the doco, hammering away at the YA WiP and ineptly attempting book-keeping and front-of-house duties for my wife’s venture. Unexpected approaches may see me leap vertically like a loopy Lepus. Forewarned is forearmed. 🙂